Lolz

How scientifically and emotionally intuitive are you?

Your Score: Very Well-Rounded

You have:
62% SCIENTIFIC INTUITION and
70% EMOTIONAL INTUITION

The graph on the right represents your place in Intuition 2-Space. As you can see, you scored above average on emotional intuition and above average on scientific intuition. (Weirdly, your emotional and scientific intuitions are equally strong.)

Your Emotional Intuition score is a measure of how well you understand people, especially their unspoken needs and sympathies. A high score score usually indicates social grace and persuasiveness. A low score usually means you're good at Quake. Your Scientific Intuition score tells you how in tune you are with the world around you; how well you understand your physical and intellectual environment. People with high scores here are apt to succeed in business and, of course, the sciences.

Try my other test!
The 3 Variable Funny Test
It rules.

Link: The 2-Variable Intuition Test written by jason_bateman on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test View My Profile(jason_bateman)

You cannot base your life on OTHER PEOPLES expectations

And I won't. I refuse to. No matter how abusive my all to recent ex becomes (and believe me, pit bulls have nothing on her at the moment) I'm going to satisfy MY expectations of my life FIRST, and all the people pressuring me, and pressuring my one remaining SO can ALL go fuck themselves.

How's that? Anyone have a problem with that? If you do, please route your responses to /dev/null because I no longer give a FUCK about you.

I'm FUCKING TIRED of being abused. I won't stand it anymore, I don't care HOW good you are in bed.

So, you didn't like my blog entry from yesterday...

Ok. That's cool. I get that. Mind you, it was all very 'stream-of-consciousness' style stuff, and really could have been better written, both for flow and clarity.

For example, I really should have redacted OSO1 & OSO2's names from the start. I have apologized to them for that, but now I'm doing so publicly as well. Fair is fair, after all. They deserve that much respect from me, and a lot more than I showed yesterday.

Second, someone seems to think it's none of my business who she's fucking. You know what? She's right. What *IS* my business is not getting woken up at 3am by the fiancee of the person she's fucking, because he's over at her place at 3am. You think it's wrong of me to get pissed? I should just be happy to get woken up at 3am? I should just file the whole thing away, shouldn't say anything to anyone, and should what - be happy that I got woken up by a friend in pain because she didn't know where my room mate was?



If you don't like me calling you on your bullshit, make sure it doesn't result in my being woken up at 3am. Make sure it doesn't hurt anyone I care about. Other than that, I don't really give a fuck. I have tried to be your friend, I can only assume from your blog that you don't care to be, and that's fine. I have enough of my own mental health issues on my plate right now, I don't need your drama.

Why is it I'm the asshole here, exactly? I'm not lying to anyone. I said it last time, I'll say it again - Polyamory is about open, honest, ethical non-monogamy. Don't feel like adhering? Fine, don't! You have no one but yourself to blame when others point fingers and call you on your shit. I can't believe I was ever attracted to you. *** shudder ***

I like you, most of the time. I just don't like what you're doing to my friend, Ashley. I think it's fucking bullshit.

I'm very upset about this, as I don't like to see my friends hurt, and also because OSO2 and 'the older woman' are getting along so famously. Mind you, this is actually a good thing. They both deserve good friends, and other than this issue, I don't really have a problem with 'the older woman'. I know that she's lacked for friends around here, and that's a shitty place to be. I'm happy for her and OSO2 both that they're getting along well. I just don't see why another friend of mine has to get hurt by all of this. Sad, really, but I can't do anything about it.

I love OSO2, and I don't want to upset, hurt, or disappoint her, but I have my own needs just as she has hers. I had hoped we were strong enough to weather this, and I still hope that we are. It's always a bad sign when you get luke warm reactions from someone at best. :-(

OSO1 seems to be taking it very well that I won't go over to her house anymore. She understand my reasons, and agrees with them, which is a plus. At least my whole life hasn't gone to hell in a hand basket. I love her and OSO2 very much, and I hope they understand that for me, this is like therapy. It helps me a LOT to get these things OUT in the open.

Life.... Don't talk to me about life.

So, it's been an odd few days.

For starters, Dot/Karen looked at my profile on OK Cupid. I really wasn't prepared to see her in my stalkers list, and I never thought she'd so much as look at my profile again. It seems that's all it was however, was idle curiosity. I wrote her a note encouraging her to talk to me, and letting her know that I wasn't mad at her any more, but also telling her I could never let her that close to me ever again. After all, I nearly stepped in front of a train because of her... I told her that what she did was needlessly cruel, but that I did still love her, and wanted to talk.

No response.

Sigh. Why did she even have to look at my profile, then? I was doing so much better. I didn't feel the constant pain of her absence, I have been throwing myself into my work very hard. I didn't miss her, I have been building up a stable of relationships so that no one person can ever derail me like that again. My therapist tells me that I am not to obsess over her, that I need to go on as before, but it is SO damn hard.

Plus, Debbie broke it off with me. Now, I shouldn't be surprised by this, I know better than to date non-poly women, but still. She was very sweet, and loving. We had a date to go see the Shedd, which I absolutely love going to do. I had told her all along that I had to go home on the 4:30 train and that I had plans. I didn't tell her what those plans were, because she had asked me specifically NOT to tell her about things with my 'other women' as she put it, so I didn't. As it turns out, I had a date with OSO2 that evening. She got kind of distant, didn't want to make plans to see me later in the week, and then broke up with me on IM. Now, I can't really blame her for that - she mentioned that she was upset, and didn't want to discuss it on IM, but I am the kind of person who gets VERY worried if something is wrong, to the point that I won't be able to function until I find out what it is, and I told her as much. I'm glad she told me, but I wish she'd been honest with me from the start, and I don't feel that she was.

So, I'm down to just OSO1 and OSO2 at this point, and I'm pretty happy with that, for the most part... Every relationship has it's issues, and most of mine stem from other people. I don't want to say who, but there's someone else in OSO1 and OSO2's life who makes it difficult for us all to get along by acting like a complete child. It seems that it's ok to talk shit about me behind my back, whine that I cut into his time with them, and yet be distant, an asshole, and treat them like property at the same time.

I took pity on this guy, even after he made the VERY serious mistake of threatening me physically. I sat down with him at dinner, along with the two lovely ladies in our lives, OSO1 and OSO2, and I laid it all out for him - the whole poly 'thing' since he clearly isn't poly, doesn't get poly, and does the two things that PISS ME OFF more than anything else in the world: He uses 'Poly' as a code word for 'I get to fuck anyone I want, and still be an insecure ass', and he treats OSO1 and OSO2 like property.

So, bearing that in mind, I step back from my (deserved, righteous) anger, and I try to reach out to him. I try to teach him what Poly is all about, why it's important to respect your partners, and give him a copy of "The Book" to read. (as an aside, "The Book" is a variable for what you think is the most important work on a given subject. For me, regarding polyamory, it's "The Ethical Slut: a Guide to Infinite Sexual Possibilities")

What does he do? He gives the book to OSO2, tells her to give him the cliff notes version, and continues to talk shit about me behind my back, and whine about poor him poor him poor him.

Not to put too fine a point on it, fuck that shit, I'm done. I no longer give a flying fuck about him. I wouldn't piss down his throat if it was on fire. I will be polite to him, I will not do anything to purposely antagonize him, and I will not disrespect him back in his own home, but I will never respect him, and I will do everything I possibly can to make sure I spend as little time around him as I can manage. I just don't need that shit. I have enough of my own drama.

Speaking of drama, I got woken up at 3:11am last night by my room mates girl friend / fiancée, who wanted the number of our other mutual friend, Kim. See, Kim (who OSO1 introduced me to) and 'the boy' as she calls him are 20 years apart in age, and are riding the hobby horse together. She denies this, but I know better. Why else is he over there at 3am? Why else did she buy a brand new, top of the line PS3 which she then loaned him? Why doesn't the fiancée have her number directly? Why can't the room mate do his chores? Why is my sleep interrupted? I mean, for fuck sake, the only reason I'm letting the 18 year old boy stay there is because I need a maid. I am on the train 4 hours a day, and work 9+. I'm old enough that I actually NEED 8 hours of sleep, if not more, and that leaves precious little time for the housework he's not doing. I finally told him today that either he starts doing his end of things, or I will find someone who will. That, and I REALLY need to not get woken up by his personal little love triangle.

I was really mad at Kim. She's the adult in the situation, and isn't acting like it. True, I was most angry because *I* wanted to fuck her, and he swooped in and nailed it first. That kinda pissed me off. Again, no respect for the Poly lifestyle. He's also not understanding that it's Honest, Ethical, Consensual, Non-monogamy. This wasn't the first time he'd done that to me, either, and it's getting on my nerves.

I really dislike it when someone uses my lifestyle for all it's benefits but refuses to accept the responsibilities that come with it! That makes me actively ANGRY, in fact. I'm trying to be mindful of the fact that he's a kid still, he's only 18, and that he's got to learn. Still, it's annoyingly like raising a puppy.

Also to work.... Guess I should go now. More thoughts later, I'm sure.